The Fight

The silent battle in raising a child with special needs. The fuel that makes our stomachs churn and our hearts break. We know our babies more than anyone else. We know how they smelled as a newborn, what their sloppy toddler kisses felt like. We know how their infant body felt warm pressed against ours at all hours of the night. We know the joy in their eyes on Christmas morning. We simply know every corner of our children. So why can’t others see it?

Ever since F was tiny I have been fighting. I fought for months to get him in early intervention- phone calls pushed off as he sat on a waiting list longer than him.

I fought for two years to get him a diagnosis, calling and calling with no answer. To them he is a number, to me he is my universe. Perhaps the most exhausting fight of them all has been the fight for his IEP to be properly honored and for him to be valued in the public eye as more than a problem child. Hours have been spent talking to him in the evenings, reviewing how he should behave at school. He has been in every therapy imaginable and we’ve shelled out sensory equipment to address each of his struggles. Yet every time the principals phone number pops up in my phone, my heart shatters just a little bit more.

My quiet and anxious self has been a poor match for this fight and it has pushed me so far from my comfort zone that it physically hurts.

For you parents struggling with the fight in your home, here is your motivation to get through today.

YOU were meant to walk this path with your child.

YOU know every corner of their soul, and YOU know how be their advocate.

YOU are not a failure for their behaviors.

YOU are so so loved for the mother or father that you are, and your insights on your child are invaluable.

YOU are worthy.

3 responses to “The Fight”

  1. Thanks for sharing this!! I am on the autistic spectrum, so I can certainly see where you are coming from here!

    Feel free to read some of my blogs 🙂

    1. Thank you! I love to hear perspectives of adults on the spectrum, it helps me understand my own child better!

  2. This boy brings me so much Joy! I love you both very much and have no doubt that you are meant to be his Mama bear, his advocate, his first love. The world will one day see what we see… his abilities far outweigh his disabilities. I know it’s hard Mama, but I believe in you.

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